Parents Corner


Guiding Childrens Behavior
Guiding children’s behavior in a positive way that nurtures self-esteem, supports good decision making, and promotes the formation of strong social skills is one of the most important things we do at Growing Places. At all of our programs, we pride ourselves in using what we refer to as "responsive language." Through responsive language can take a little getting used to, it is most certainly a behavior guiding technique that families can employ at home.
Responsive language is language that encourages give and take and independent thought. It applies alternatives and choices and includes reasons and explanation. Responsive language includes adult requests and necessary commands, but they’re expressed in nurturing ways. When using responsive language, caring adults elaborate on their statements, providing extra information so that children can more fully understand. Responsive language can be used with children of any age. Below are a few examples of things that might be said to children first in a negative, more restrictive way and then in the responsive way we strive for.

Restrictive

• "No hitting your sister!"
• "Stop shouting. You’re too loud."
• "Do not throw that ball in here, you’re going to break something."
• "Stop fooling around an do your homework."

Responsive

• "Tessa, hitting hurts your sister. Please use gentle touches."
• "Please use an inside voice."
• “"our ball needs to go on the shelf until we go outside, then I would love to see how far you can throw it."
• "First you need to do your homework, then you may choose something you’d like to play."

By using responsive language you are setting an example for your children of how to communicate positively, respectfully and effectively. What enormous stepping stones these things are on your child's route to healthy social and emotional growth!

Growing Places - Parent Handbook